Undeniably God.

Okay, so, I apologize for not blogging for awhile. It seems like such a long time to me lol. Things have been quite strange for me lately...I've been getting over being sick (much exhaustion!!) and I've been really pursuing God for answers. Ever since the mere thought of going to LLSOW was dropped into my lap, I've been VERY cautious about exploring it. At first I believe it was my heart and my dreams muddling my ability to listen to God and that what was going on wasn't REALLY God it was just my wishful thinking but then...SO many things have fallen into place. Experience with a couple bands, worship team experience at my church that includes soundboard and computer stuff... So, finally I just plain out asked God if this is really what He wanted and if it truly was then I would be willing to go wherever. Well, I began praying and searching my heart more and definitely learning more about the school from people and the internet (big shout out here to the beautiful Duck who has helped me learn SOO much that i couldn't have without her!! love ya!) and the more I read and learned, the more I fell in love and believed it was something I could DO. DEFINITELY NOT on my own, because $6,000.00+ is a LOT of $ to get without God's help but I know if He truly wants this for me, it's going to happen.

On Sunday night, I got the first piece of proof for this, hard, physical proof (at least to me). One of my very good friends's dad is a bass player for my favorite local band. Sunday night, he was playing for our youth worship team & as he was leaving, I was prompted by thoughts in my head, (now that i fully believe were nudges from the holy spirit) to go ask him about bass lessons. So, I went outside of church as he was leaving and I brought up the question and he was very accepting and open to the idea. He said he definitely would love to give me lessons and he then began to go through a few basic things about bass playing (which isn't altogether COMPLICATED, it's just very important to keep a steady beat and follow the pulse of the song). I was extremely excited about this (still am!) and when I came home I just knew it was through the leading of the Holy Spirit that I asked the right thing at the right time.

Yesterday, I got the second piece of proof, at least that I believe is proof... For a long time now, I've been searching for a job that I feel would fit me and that I would not be totally out of place at, one that I could mostly enjoy and that I'd get hours for...and most importantly, one that would give me an interview after I applied!!! (this has been QUITE obnoxious to find to be honest) and I had almost given up hope because of all of the rejection when, Tuesday night, I finally decided to look at who was hiring at the Tanger Outlet Mall in the Dells (one of my last resort places to work) and so I found out many places were looking for sales associates and I made a list and the next day, Jen went with me and I asked for applications for places and filled them out. I got applications for Claires, Coldwater Creek and Build-a-Bear workshop. I wanted to apply at Nike and Old Navy but they were online applications so I would have to do them when I got home. As I was returning my apps for Claires & CC, I was getting kind of nervous like "okay...they're not acting like they're confirming anything..that's not good..." and THEN I returned my application to Build-A-Bear and the manager was very..um...peppy lol. She asked if I was busy tomorrow and if I could come back for an interview at 1:30pm. I was TOTALLY thrilled to be offered an interview and I said "Nope I'm not busy I'll definitely be here!".

So, today, I went and proceeded with the interview and in my opinion, it went really well! I had to take this survey/test thing called the Reid Test (i think??) and it was to "get to know me". LOL! Basically, it asked about what I thought about employees stealing from companies and how I would handle if I knew someone was stealing blah blah blah, there were some questions about drug use and if I'd submit to a drug test (sure why not? i have nothing to hide. lol) and yeah, it was a stinkin scan-tron which I really dislike, and 100 questions at that, but it only took me 15-20 minutes so that's not awful or anything and hey if it gets me the job, I don't care! lol. I have to go back for a 2nd interview though, to meet the store manager and be interview by her, but I'm not worried =) I believe God has placed me there for a reason, I mean, there has to be a reason I was so warmly accepted when I went to apply right? I have a really really good feeling about this place. NOT TO MENTION, working in a store with kids all day long? That is like one of THE best jobs EVER in my book =)

AND THEN...last night =( Just a little after midnight, I was just about to get offline ( I was talking to some peeps) and my computer just...shut off. It crashed. And I could not turn it back on. It said it wasn't letting me on so that it could "protect windows" cuz there was some system error. SO....I'm freaking out. I canNOT afford another computer, not to mention all of the priceless memories and stuff that are on there that I can never get back if it crashes...SOOO many pictures and SOOO much music *cries* so many things that are important to me. Why does this keep happening to me with my computers???? *sigh* Can't my life just go smoothly for like...ONE day? Please??? Okay I'm done ranting now but really, HOW can this be happening?