Joshua--Be Strong: the voice of God when you least expect it.

Hello blog reading peoples =)

If you've been following along with my blog for very long at all, you should/would know that God has called me to go to Kenosha & the Living Light School of Worship, or so I believe. Right here in this moment I cannot believe anything less because He has spoken to me with such clarity and in such assuring ways that for me to disbelieve this is to turn my back on God. For me, that is such a strong thing to say since I don't believe He has ever spoken something to me so clearly before. Okay, so there's that little intro done and out of the way, now onto explaining what this blog is really about: Hearing God When You Least Expect It.

7:45a.m. this morning--my mother rouses me from where i'm sleeping on the couch in our living room (my room was just TOO cold last night so i took up residence on the couch which was much better). i really hadn't slept well because i've been sick + i was having serious issues last night with silly pains all over my body, my mouth, my neck, my stinkin knees...it was just one of THOSE nights. so i mumbled that i wasn't going to church cuz i wasn't feeling good & i rolled over. [side note: my cat was sleeping on me so i wasn't very comfortable to begin with...ha!] But as I lay there about to drift back off to sleep I realized I wasn't going to sleep very well anymore since I was woken up, so I picked up my cat and rolled off the couch and made my way to the bathroom to stick my contacts in. I walk out of the bathroom 10 min later completely showered & ready (minus being dressed) and my mom walks by ALL confused lol. The look on my mother's face was pretty much echoed on mine when I turned around in time to see my sister dressed and ready to go walking out of her bedroom...I almost fell over. My younger sisters + going to church= never happens!! But she was going...so I'm hopeful! lol. Anyway, off to church we went.

At church--several people greeted me & with a not-so-awake smile, I walked into the building. Today, our "usual" seats were taken when we got to church (oh heaven forbid...but my mom was annoyed, which I'll never understand *shrug* ) and we sat down and just kinda chatted with people & chilled til more people arrived (we live less than 5 miles away from church so we are ALWAYS super early lol). Well, one of my old small group leaders from middle & high school ended up sitting in front of us (Miss Cindy P.) and she started talking to me. Honestly, I haven't REALLY talked to her in ages even though her and I used to be incredibly close. Oh well, life changes and we grow from it right? Anywho, so we're talking and she asks me what I'm up to these days and I tell her all about my new job and how much I already love it. Then she asks if I know where I'm going to go back to school and I'm thinking "whoa! that came out of NOWHERE!" but I answer the question about LLC and the SOW and I start talking about how I'm going in November to visit (if all goes according to plan anyway) and how excited I am that God wants me there and then I realize my mom is standing there & I haven't told her ANY of this yet....least of all about the November visit & I'm like...ohhh dearrrr....but it was all good, she was just listening & didn't really have anything to say about it later lol. So that was a good conversation, but I really didn't think anything of it til later when I was reflecting on this.

So worship time =) Was amazing. I think it was because I've been reading Ducky's blogs and talking with her and a lot of the stuff she's said/written has sunk in. Worship isn't about US! It's about GOD! Who cares if we don't "feel" like singing? Sing anyway! Lol so that's kind of the attitude I had this morning. I really wasn't "seeking" God during worship, I was more praising Him and just really WORSHIPING. Anyway, it was all just REALLY amazing. I don't even think I can describe it in words, it was just special I guess. Moving onto preachin! lol. Our lead pastor isn't here this weekend, he's off in Nebraska? i think? doing something or other so, in preparation for our future expansion stuff we're doing, we watched the message via a pre-recorded video.

When it started I'm like "yawn. i hope i can stay awake. ugh i do NOT feel well at ALL! who ORDERED this headache anyway??! it sure wasn't me!" and so i get out my paper for notes and a pen and i start doodling while pastor outlines our growth plan that the congregation has decided to go through with and since i've already heard all about it ( i have inside connections lol, i hang out at church too much :P ) i was just doodling and kinda not paying attention. Well lately, we've been going through the old testament for our sermons & since i've never had much patience with the OT i wasn't very excited when pastor announced that but now that we've gotten into it, it's come alive for me and i really think i have different perspective on it now. Okay so moving along, I'm getting rather wordy! Today's sermon was on Joshua and him leading the people in the land God had promised them. The main text we were studying was this:

¹ After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses' aide: ² "Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites. ³ I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. ⁴ Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea on the west. ⁵ No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

⁶ "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. ⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:1-9

We read through this and I was like ehhh until we got to this part and it just HIT me hard:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." --verse 9

So I read this and it hits me that I still have a LOT of fear about this future God has chosen for me. As a matter of fact, video-pastor (haha!) actually said "quite often we get afraid or discouraged about things that God has planned for us that we would never have DREAMED for ourselves." (well, thats a paraphrase cuz i don't have the exact sermon but i'll be getting it as soon as i CAN!) Essentially it's this-- God wants me to abandon fear. That is what was REALLY spoken to me this morning. And you know something? I didn't expect it at ALL. So...I have decided to make something to put on the back of my bedroom door....tag board perhaps, where I can write these things...lol. Pretty much that's all I have to say...don't ever stop expecting God to show up!! It was just one of those days =) and even though my head hurts and my body aches and I'm sick of being sick (haha so punny!) I'm still chasin after Jesus just like H spoke to me so many weeks ago ♥