my soul will dance with You.

i wrote this while at the lake today.

Listening to worship music by the lake.

There's nothing quite like it.

As Hillsong plays on, the seagulls are swooping and the seagulls are rising with the wind.

The waters today are steady, so calm it's nearly intimidating.

Every now & then a few droplets of water spatter across my windshield.

Gazing at the beach and the slight crashing of the waves, I can't help but dream such romantic ideas:

...a group of people who have been touched by God, gathered around a single guitar player,

just freely worshipping, lifting praises to the King, raising their voices high beyond the ceiling

of clouds above them.

...walking along a beach.

one guy.

one girl.

together.

laughter. getting to know each other.

chasing seagulls. chasing dreams.

...a bonfire mere feet from the lapping of gentle waves.

joyful faces lit by the yellow-orange glow of the flames,

a grin on every face, simply enjoying each others company.

...sheets of rain, creating one giant muddy sandbox.

two friends laughing, shouting and jumping in the puddles,

not a care in the world other than this moment, right here, right now.

i can't wait for summer.

Your love.

this song has been on my mind all day...and i've been thinking.

it's not a coincidence that i've always been more drawn to the Kenosha congregation,

it's not a coincidence that the teaching series there currently is the love of God, something

that i have questioned and struggled with for a very long time.

where have i ended up living? 2 blocks from the building.

who prayed with me to receive the Holy Spirit? one of the elders from LLCC-K.

all of this has just hit me recently, revelation or call it what you like, but i put it

together for the first time. and well, lately i've been questioning whether Kenosha

is right for me and i have deduced that currently and in this season, it is right.

-------

in other news, spring is TOTALLY here, the temperature is rising and i'm just getting

more and more thrilled for warm weather. thrilled to spend hours by the lake, thrilled to

be OUTSIDE again in the glorious sunshine, and the rain too. thrilled to get to know more

people and do more things. there is hope and happiness in the near future and i am excited.

my spirit is stirring. something is going to happen soon, something significant.

i don't currently know what it might be, but i am pressing into God and as of now

He is just speaking to me to ground myself in the Word more and more and more.

get to know people, form RELATIONSHIPS, something i tend to not do, i tend to be socially

awkward and also i tend to seek solitude rather than be with people. i don't want to be

like that forever though, i want to be a relational being. that's how i was created afterall:)

you know what i think the BEST part of lately is?

the colors and life that are sprouting up everywhere.

every morning when i get up, i look out the kitchen window and rain or shine,

i see squirrels chasing each other, digging for treasures and scampering after each other.

i notice the subtle changes in the earth and plants around me, one day its slightly green

and the next day flowers have burst into life, as if only so i can see them.

i never realised how much i missed colour.

goodbye winter.

fighting...something.

to everyone who reads along with my posts, i'm sure you can tell that by the title of this post, it's not been an easy ride to living in Kenosha. now, please do not mistake me. i am 100% here because of God, but it has not been easy for me. i knew it wouldn't be though. growing and stretching, dying to yourself are never easy. they are always hard for a reason, the pain makes it worth it.

it's been beautiful but very hard at the same time.

i know that God's hand has been in bringing me here, every single part of it.

that makes the hard parts bearable, it makes it easier to know that when i'm crying out that He hears me, He's holding me, He's just plain there.

adjusting to a new way of life, new work environments, new relationships with people, that stuff hasn't been the hard part. it becomes a routine after awhile you know.

i just hate... certain things. things that are even hard to write.

i hate that the people i care about here most, i rarely see.

i hate that it's nearly been a month that i've been here and still i barely know anyone.

i hate that it's still nasty weather (ok that one i'll just suck up and deal with)

but mostly?

i hate that something is not okay and i feel like i'm screaming but no one is hearing me.

i am not a person to ever say that something is wrong, i just deal with it.

i don't even know who to turn to anymore, everything is so complicated and really people are busy so i don't have anyone to talk to. i just keep hoping and praying that i stop having nights like my birthday, because let's face it, crying until you can't anymore just sucks and exhausts a person.

off to sleep now. work tomorrow, then hopefully getting to see Lyssa.

maybe even homegroup if i can force myself to be around people.

remembering.

"i can see you as you're falling on your knees,

you're not invisible to me."

i'm trying to remember this tonight.

trying to remember that moment.

trying to make myself believe the truth of these words.

women's worship night.

ok this is very brief and not detailed really but at LLCC-Kenosha there was a women's worship

night. teresa was leading and it was just amazing. no words to describe except that God was soooo tangibly there. it was just beautiful how all of us sisters got to come together and be in the presence of our Father. the words brought and the songs brought were all so perfect.

it was significant for me (this night i mean) because it was the first time i've ever brought a word...

at first everyone was bringing words about water and going deeper with the Lord and i'm like

uhh...fire? haha. but i was obedient and brought it, i wasn't afraid, just a little unsure of what to do, so i approached maggie and she encouraged me to talk to teresa about it so i did and teresa was like YES! and so i went up front and 2 other people after me TOTALLY affirmed it. it was pretty much amazing for me and it was interesting too because i wasn't afraid even though i knew less than 5 people in the room, i didn't have any fear. that was totally awesome and of God :)

also, another thing, maggie sang a song in a tongue and while she was singing, i just

started CRYING because i knew what she was saying. an exact translation? no.

but the meaning? yes. it was about love and it was beautiful.

yeah.

oh and it's my birthday now.

and in 7 hours i'm getting up for church. haha.

best wayyy to start my birthday! with Jesus! woohoo!! :) :) :)

creativity has returned :)

so just a few days ago i did a photoshoot with the epic, the amazing Cara :)

i have a few shots here from that. these are my favooooorites from the shoot.

following the photos is a graphic i recently finished that i am in LOVE with.

it's got a lyric from the song "where the love lasts forever" by hillsong united

that i've fallen in love with recently.

and finally :)

my soul will dance with you.

"So I throw my life upon all that You are,
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever."

-hillsong united.

a vision.

teresa was bringing a song about soaring with God, soaring high to the heights of His love

and soaring low to the depths of His heart. well i've never had such a vivid vision before like

this and certainly not during worship so this was pretty cool for me. anywhere, here goes:

My vision was of someone flying high with God bit being hesitant about things and they were just above the clouds.
All of a sudden the two soared past a huge fluffy white cloud and looking down there was the deepest valley and shadows and darkness below and the one soaring with God became afraid and started to become insecure in their trust and faith and they started to sink lower now just below the clouds.
The enemy was below and he saw this fear rise up and he began shooting his fiery arrows at the Beloved.
However the Lord stretched out a strong arm and said "do not be afraid"
as the arrows began to fly upward and the Beloved cringed, the Lord shielded His Beloved.

No matter which direction the arrows came from, He was there taking the darts and it was a joy to Him.

A JOY to protect and keep safe the one He loves, the one He longs for.