i've been thinking about this tonight: is it okay to be sad about my life? i mean, honestly, i only have a few friends in this area, all of whom have commitments that are much more important than i am, and that's okay you know? but i've been thinking. and listening to the Skillet song "would it matter". the lyrics feel like my daily struggle. would it matter if i was here? would it matter if i tried to help someone? i try to be bright and happy for people, to show them that love and goodness are, to give them hope, a reason to live. and then i have nights like tonight where i just want to hug myself and cry and cry and cry. i don't even know why i want to cry. i'm just sad and it hurts so deeply inside. i don't know what to do with it. crying seems like the only thing i CAN do.
for anyone who reads this regularly, this is not the normal me. this is me in a depressed state of mind. please do not judge me on this post. thank you.
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