so i have dreams in my mind and in my heart. and lately i can't help but wonder if they'll only ever be dreams. for instance, my #1 dream would be to be a photographer and have that job for the rest of my life. my #2 dream is to go to LLSOW and follow God where He leads me. what does this all have to do with anything you ask?
in order to do both of these things, i need a job to fund them, money basically. you can't buy a good camera without money and you can't go to a school without paying either.
now, i know God will provide, but i also have the usual doubts. mostly i think they're doubts within, me doubting myself. like, the reason i can't get a job is because i'm not smart enough, good enough, etc, etc. i've been looking for one for over a year & yes i refused to apply in the dells this summer but i didn't feel like it was RIGHT...and it bugs me now because i doubt myself like, maybe i didn't hear God say that, maybe it was just me thinking that you know? so doubts. yay. ((not)).
i don't really have a ton to post about tonight because that's really it, are my dreams only meant to be dreams? or will they become a reality? sometimes it's hard to believe.
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