i will not look away this time.

She’s everything to everyone
Wish I could have seen it come down
But I heard incorrectly

It seems everything she knows is now
Five minutes ‘till closing
that’s not a lot of time when you’re nervous

And they say, daughter look away, don’t be afraid
When you want to turn back a million times
And it might get colder, but wait ‘till it’s over
Darlin’, you’ll find your way

But she said...

I, will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
And all this pain I’ve held inside
So I can find my way home again
I will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
Don’t want to be perfect, just alright...

He’s on his way to nowhere
‘Cause he heard it was safe there
And safe is something valuable here
He’s spent half his life searching
And the other half working
Hard to find out if Jesus is real

And they said, son look away, don’t be afraid
When you want to turn back a million times
And it might get colder, but wait ‘till it’s over
Son, you will find your way

I, will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
And all this pain I’ve held inside
So I can find my way home again
I will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
Don’t want to be perfect, just alright...

But he said...

Every time, every line,
Every time you wanna say goodbye, sing..

Every time, every line,
Every time you wanna say goodbye, sing..

I, will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
And all this pain I’ve held inside
So I can find my way home again
I will not look away this time
Take all these cuts, and make them shine
Don’t want to be perfect, just alright...

She’s everything to everyone
Wish I could have seen it come down
But I heard incorrectly

It seems everything she knows is now
Five minutes ‘till closing
that’s not a lot of time when you’re nervous

-"look away" by thousand foot krutch

This song has been in my mind all day. I feel regrets for many things in my life, and lately, when my mind reverts to thinking, all I can ponder is what would happen if Katie didn't make it. What if one day I wake up and she is gone? Someone told me "Well hasn't she already been "gone"? " And I responded with "Not in my heart" I don't know how to let go, especially now when any day could be her last. I mean, I guess all of us face that, but not like this, not with being sick, not with a heart problem. I feel like it's partially my fault. She wasn't eating for so long...or eating not enough...and she got so tiny...and I saw it, I could have stopped it, I could have said something to someone with more power than me. Maybe I could have prevented this. I don't want to blame myself, but I still feel responsible. She was my best friend for over 10 years. How do I let go? How do I say goodbye??