Skillet Dream...yeah, another one O.o

I was at this benefit thing and it was very small and private and my parents were there and my younger sister Anita was too and so were the members of Skillet: John, Korey, Jen and Ben. Well, at one point in the dream, my mom, sister Anita and I were off by a side room or something like that, basically away from the crowd and main event and I told Anita how excited I was that John was there cuz maybe I would get to chat with him for even 5 minutes and Anita and my mom both started tearing my dream down and making fun of me saying that John would never want to talk to me cuz I wasn't worth it and I started crying and told them to stop, "Okay okay just stop I get it" and they just kept jeering at me and finally Anita loudly goes, "Yeah, why would the lead singer of Skillet want ANYTHING to do with a worthless loser who cuts herself??" and she and my mom were laughing. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran out of there to the outside of the building and around a corner to a secluded spot near these bushes and a rock that would hide me from people and I dropped to the ground and cried and cried and was so overwhelmed by pain that I finally just reached into my bag to pull out a blade when all of a sudden, I heard a voice say, "So you like this quiet spot too!" and I jumped so badly and turned around and there stood John Cooper with a big smile. I was still crying and in my attempt to not look stupid, I hastily tried to wipe my eyes and in doing so, the blade I had almost dug out of my bag fell to the ground, though I did not realize it at the time.

So John comes over to me and he goes, "I hope you're not angry...but I was around the corner and heard what your family said to you and I want you to know that nothing they said was true. You are NOT worthless, you are beautiful and worth everything and (he paused and we sat down on the huge rock that was there) despite the fact that you cut yourself ( a tear rolled down my cheek) I DO want to talk to you. That is exactly why I came right out here when I heard that and saw you run...and it looks like (he pauses and reaches down to pick up the blade I didn't realize dropped), it looks like I was just in time."

His eyes flicker to my arm and though I am trembling with fear, I let him see the many scars.

The tears fall faster and my head sinks lower as I feel more and more shame consume me...but then, John lifts my face and puts his arm around me and hugs me as I cry and he softly sings, "The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go." and my voice catches in my throat and sobs take over my body and he just let me cry it out.

When I'm done crying, he goes, "I want to show you something, okay?" ...and I nod. He then unzips his sweatshirt and takes it off (the black and red ribcage one from the comatose part 2 tour) and he holds his left forearm out. The word "forgiven" is tattooed right there in front of me and it's so beautiful I'm speechless. Little do I know that that isn't all...

John goes, "Look right...here..." and he points to a space just before the "F" and I can see very faint pink lines...his own scars.

I gasp and look up into his eyes and he just smiles and says, "Just remember: His blood covers your scars and pain and you are completely forgiven."

Finally I am able to smile and I timidly ask if He has time to hear my story and he smiles back and replies, "You bet! This benefit thing is kind of boring anyway....they don't even have any Dr. Pepper!" and I laugh and I finally get to tell him the story of how if it weren't for Skillet and their music, I would not be here right now. After I finish, he hands me my blade and I go "Hold on just a moment." and I hop up and run to the nearest trash can and throw it out for good. I come back and he's gone, but on the rock where we sat was a little leather bound journal. On the inside were 2 pictures: one of his tattoo with a circle around his scars and the other of us two sitting on the rock smile and laughing and talking. Inside the journal on the cover he inscribed, "the last night" lyrics of,

The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go.

and a special message on the first page:

"Liz-- you are worth it. Never forget that!! I hope you never have to feel that way ever again. If you ever need someone and you have no one, here is my cell number, call me and I will be there.

Stay strong,
John Cooper"

I woke up from this dream this morning and have been thinking about it all day... no, none of this ever happened and I doubt that John Cooper ever self harmed but to me, it was a very powerful dream that I will never forget. ♥