Criticism: because everybody's gotta vent sometime.

This is the first time I've ever written about this here so I'm hesitant.


Pretty much though, I'm sick of my dad's criticism and control.

My older sister asked me to watch her 2 kids for her tomorrow and I
am more than happy to do that.

Somehow, he thinks I can't. Whatever reasoning in his head he has, I am
not allowed to. Apparently Friday counts as the weekend & he said they're
not allowed to be here "this weekend". They'd be gone before he ever
woke up.

I'm just really angry & frustrated right now.
I know I'm supposed to be here, home, though I don't know why specifically
but right now those feelings of flight are returning. I want to get in my car
and drive away and never look back at them, my parents. I want to leave
and forget them, leave the pain and hurt behind. I'm never good enough for
them so why do I even try??

I want to be able to walk out of my bedroom and hang out with my sisters
while I can, I know we won't be together forever and I just want to be able
to do that but crossing the living room that's between my room and theirs
is usually impossible. I hold my breath when I do it, always waiting for my
dad to inevitably say something, anything.


So basically I just wanted to help my sister out and now my dad is on a
rampage against me today. Lovely. She has no one else who can watch
her kids tomorrow while she works, I have NO idea where she's gonna
turn...I want to help her cuz my heart goes out to her being a single mom
and all that, at least she's TRYING to provide and love her family the best
she can. I just wanted to help.