Did you know that on iTunes, you can listen to radio stations all over the United States? (and probably the world even!!) Well, I discovered this awhile back and was listening to some instrumental music and stuff and was like, cool, radio stations. Well, today I discovered just how many CHRISTIAN ROCK stations there were!!! Anyway, back to my topic, so I was listening to this one rock station and they had commercial kind of things in between songs for the website (www.notreligion.com) every...oh, 3-4 songs and some of them were cool and I started to tune them out after awhile. Well, I had left my room for awhile and I came back and I sat down at my desk with the intent to write this awesome blog about music and lyrics and then I heard another one of those commercial type things. Except this one really got me. The guy said, "Jesus wants us to ask for things. If you suffer from stress, if you have deeply rooted self-esteem issues, and if you suffer from depression (ouch, totally got me) then all you have to do is ask Jesus to remove these burdens and He will."
I slowly tuned out everything around me and lost myself in thought with this subject. How could I have never thought of this? What about the countless times I have asked God for requests for other people? Why had I never beseeched Him with the things that matter to me? The things ABOUT me? For a good half hour I thought about these things over and over, situations, and events that happened in my life where I really understood what it meant to ask God for something. I became overwhelmed with the feeling of just HOW MUCH God cares about me...little old me....nothing-to-special-about-her....me!
And so I began to pray. I prayed for release from the depression, release from the self-harming thoughts, the guilt and the shame. I prayed and apologized for how much I have de-valued myself...after all, am I not God's own special and unique creation? After over a year of being empty because of the depression I let take hold of me, I became full of God and felt completely whole. I finally came to terms with the darkness inside and made sure I could get a grip on it and not let it ever rule me again. And my current prayer is that, with God's hand and help, I can make it through each and every day without slipping back into that state of numbness and sadness.
So thanks everyone (who reads this anyhow, ie, Elraen =] <3 ) for being understanding, for being there for me and most importantly for praying for me....it really means a lot to have people who care =] <3
much love,
~Liz
2 comments:
Very good blog!! It is so true, something all of us have to come to and realize that we do need to pray for ourselves not just for the people around us.
I am so glad you've seen this. :-) I felt so much joy for you as I read this. You're right; we do need to pray about ourselves. It's a good reminder for me too. I'm so glad God chose to reveal Himself like that to you. :-)
- Mary
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