Skillet recap:
The day started out with Alyssa and I (and her sister Karlye) making shirts. The words “Panhead” on the front and various things on the back (shut up and rock!, I am a peanut, etc).
After shirts were done, we were off to the Concordia field house. We were there 40-45 minutes earl and there was already a line, after Lifest I should have known ha ha.
Regardless, we got in and were 3rd row, standing room only of course. Not the front, but for a first show, it was good enough J These 2 guys behind us were sitting and they complimented my epic jeans and asked me if I minded if they read them. I said “of course you can!” and continued talking to my friends. One of those same guys had a shirt on from the “Hey You I Love Your Soul” era! It said “I’m Locked” and I had to get a picture of it because I had never seen it before!
Well, the time passed quickly and Decyfer Down was up before I knew it. I don’t know their music very well, but I did listen to a few songs beforehand (I did my research haha). I love “Fading”, “Fight Like This” and “Crash”. Afterwards, I have decided I love them and need a cd or two J Yeah, working on that…
After a short break, Disciple was up and to be honest, I didn’t think too much of them right away, they seemed kind of screamy for my tastes, but after hearing “After the World” and the lead singer speak about love, I knew I loved them too. They are quite awesome.
In less time than Decyfer Down, it seemed, Disciple was over! By this point, my stomach was going mad and I could not think straight. Not even close to straight. My thoughts were a spinning blur. It was SO unreal. Me seeing Skillet. Dreams becoming a reality.
A part of me wanted to run. To escape. I was afraid. I have no idea why exactly, but it felt like the moment was too perfect & that something had to go wrong. Running is my way to cope with disappointment…and to be disappointed with this I knew I couldn’t stand, I was trying to protect myself.
But God is faithful and it was perfect.
Alyssa and I were chatty and could not stop smiling from ear to ear. Our conversations would start and stop and jump from things that had nothing to do with Skillet to the stage setup and back to Skillet again.
And then ScottyRock came out. And it was all over.
The lights turned off.
The crowd grew silent. (momentarily anyway)
The intro began with Jonathan Chu and his incredible violin solo.
Then Jen came out and she was smiling and emphasizing the downbeats perfectly.
Korey and Ben next, the volume level rising.
With each member’s entrance, the crowd got that much louder.
By the time John emerged, my heart was pounding so hard I am amazed it’s still beating properly.
Adrenaline pumping, hair flying, fist in the air and we were through ‘Comatose’.
Before I could even take a breath, the crowd was pressing in and I heard the beginning of ‘Whispers in the Dark’. This song was my saving grace last summer (2008) and if anyone wants to know why, ask and I’ll tell you later.
I was screaming as loud as I could and jumping around like mad. I have a large bruise below my right kneecap on my shin from jumping and having my purse hit my leg repeatedly.
Then they hit chorus.
And John screamed, “No! You will never be alone!”
And the tears began to fall.
Quickly and thickly they fell.
My vision was blurred, my body was shaking and I was sobbing.
Never alone.
God was wrapping Himself around me in complete fullness and it was so much more than I could take.
The empty parts were filled, the broken parts mended. Though the scars are many, I finally saw the love is more. <3
“I don’t want to live dying on the inside, because Your love is better than life.”
After whispers came ‘Collide’ and I was jumping and screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. Alyssa and I met each other’s eyes at one point and together we sang, “We can make it, step out and take it, we can’t live feeling so numb, how long can we hold on, can we hold on!”
The next song I remember was “The Older I Get” and turning to Alyssa towards the end of it, and saying, “You know what song is next don’t you?” Both of us smiled and knew it was time for…
‘The Last Night‘.
I heard the familiar piano opening and at once, my voice caught in my throat. With tears in my eyes, I held my arm tightly while John sang the first verse: “You come to me with scars on your wrist, You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this.”
flashback: standing on the bridge that horrible night
Then, back to reality at the concert. As I lifted my head and looked up to the stage with tears everywhere, I saw love for the 3rd time that night.
The song finished and went straight into ‘Better Than Drugs’ which is my favorite live song because of the guitar/lights combination…and I began to worship without intending to…which is the best kind. It was incredibly powerful; it was beyond words.
Here’s where it all blurs together.
Those Nights’ : crowd cam and curse my being short with tall people in front of me! I’m there, but it’s very hard to see me.
‘Forsaken’ : This song is how I got my bruises on my back and sides and my backs of my legs. Between people hitting into me and me hitting into others, it was very amazing. I will proudly bear these bruises.
‘Hero’ & ‘Monster’ : Beautifully Done.
I was screaming the lyrics and letting TOTALLY loose now. At one point after both songs, a guy in front of me turned and goes, “How do you KNOW the songs?!!?” And I screamed back, “Cuz I’m a dedicated Panhead that’s how!!!”
Somewhere before ‘Angels Fall Down’, I had to leave the center of the crowd where I was. There were some terribly rude guys who were big and kept hitting into people and thrashing around much more than was necessary and I wasn’t able to breathe enough and felt kind of sick so I had to get out of the center and get some oxygen. But…it was okay, it really was =] I viewed Angels, Savior and Best Kept Secret from the wings and it was beautiful.
‘Angels Fall Down’ : Best worship. I was exhausted already and could hardly raise my arms above my head and keep them there, but God’s strength kicked in and I kept them up for the remainder of the song.
At one point during the concert, John was amazed and let us know we were singing louder than the speakers J Proud moment right there because I knew I was giving it my all.
After the show, we charged straight for some water and then took off to find the band bus!
And HOLY MOLEY PEOPLE!!
Luckily, we got there early enough that we were close-ish to the front.
After waiting for what seemed like forever, the band came out one by one: Jonathan Chu (violinist), Jen Ledger (drums and some vocals), Ben Kasica (guitar), Korey Cooper (keys, guitar and vocals) and of course John Cooper (lead vocals, bass).
John & Korey took the longest to arrive and at least half the crowd had left by time they got there (they’re quite smart they are haha) and that’s okay, it was well worth the wait to meet my heroes <3
Meeting Each Member:
1. Chu: He is so cool. Poor guy had so many people’s things to sign at first!! BUT he’s awesome! We got a picture with him and we all look zany! Ha ha.
2. Jen: So sweet! She’s SUCH a sweetheart!! I told her she’s the best and she smiled and said “Aww! Thank you!” in her adorable accent. After taking my pic to sign, she joked, “Chu’s taking my spot man!” and we all laughed because he was! Lol.
3. Ben: Oh man this guy was awesome! At one point, he was crowd surfing with his guitar! Epic awesome! By the time he came out though, you could tell he was spent! Talk about exhausted! It was great meeting him though.
4. Korey: While she was walking out of the bus door, and still far enough away so that she wasn’t easily recognizable, I saw her and knew it was her (she’s so petite!) and I yelled, “We love you Korey you’re awesome!” And she smiled. When she got to us in the line of people, we chatted for a few minutes about how we’re always freezing but we live in Wisconsin anyway! Lol it was the best!
Finally…the most anticipated…
5. John: It was the best moment of my entire life <3
He came out and I screamed again (the whole, We love you John you’re awesome, thing…gotta show some love! Haha) and I got the crowd started cheering haha oops :P That’s what we get for recognizing him first ;)
So he got to us and Alyssa goes, “Do you like my shirt?” and she showed him the back & the peanut I had drawn and John goes, “Ohh! I’m a peanut TOO!” and he smiled and said he loved ALL of our shirts that we made (they all said Panhead on the front) and I gave him my picture to sign and he gave me a high five and I looked him in the eye and said, “You are my Hero” and it took him by surprise because he did a double take and then he broke into a special kind of smile. For the 4th time that night, I was hit with Love. This time was the deepest and I felt it dig in, to the very center of my core.
And…we left… and it will be forever burned into my memory and mind.
It hit me: No matter how tired they were, they still made time for their fans. That only makes them that much more awesome in my eyes.
Alyssa & I went back to her dad’s and could hardly sleep from excitement. We were also both pretty speechless…it was a good night.
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The next day, I had to leave and it was painful because I wanted nothing more than to stay in Cedarburg with Lyssa <3
On the drive home (about 3 hours, give or take) I had my ipud on shuffle and lots of time to process and think. The song “You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews came on and I couldn’t stop the tears.
Love was shown to me yet AGAIN.
And I couldn’t stand being so full of it.
My ipud was on shuffle and as soon as that song ended, “Whispers in the Dark” from Comatose Comes Alive came on, and I was reliving the previous night all over again.
My body was shaking with sobs. I was overwhelmed again by God. And I was driving. Beautifully broken.
When I got home, my mom asked me what my opinion of the weekend was and what it all felt like.
“Love.” I said. “It felt like love.”
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