Monday, April 26, 2010

something's rising, changing, trying to break free...

i need a change. something drastic.

i've been feeling like this for at least a week now...it's something i can't put my finger on yet i know SOMETHING has to change. it feels like my world is too predictable... too comfortable. in so many ways i feel safe, and i'm finding it very hard to keep myself going day after day knowing nothing has really changed.

don't get me wrong, i am still seeking God, still living for Him, hopefully growing in my relationships with people and with God.... it's just... too easy it feels like.

this weekend i was uprooted from my normalcy and thrust into situation after situation where i had no control over anything, i was tossed by the waves of unpredictability.

it was... good for me, no GREAT for me.

i was praying a lot more (though i have been, not that that's anything terribly new) but there was that and God was just speaking to me SO much...hearing His voice has become my new favorite thing...now that i'm listening better...it's just awesome. He wasn't kidding when He said His sheep know His voice..it's just incredible.

anyway.

there were some amazing realizations i had, some really great time i just spent RELAXING...no computer, no people calling me...i had my phone and was texting and well tweeting a lot but i didn't feel so tied down, it was amazing.

i belong on the road. this was one of my major discoveries.
living in one place doing the same thing day after day is not what i should be doing.
the unpredictability is something i NEED.

maybe i'll buy a hippie bus and drive across the U.S. going to shows and listening to stories.

really though... i need a change.

Motives.

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