8-18-08
After a summer of hardly speaking and hardly seeing each other, a friendship ended. The first person I ever trusted to let "in" and see me for who I was decided that riding horses and going off to college and her "new life" were more important than staying friends with the person who had been there for her since the 2nd grade. Over 8 years of friendship ended that day.
To me, it was just enough to send me over the edge so I decided if she didn't want to be my friend, that was it, I didn't need to be on this earth.
A split second before committing suicide I was saved in an unexpected way and ever since life has been so surreal. The only times it's real, it's like I rise above everything and then have to come crashing back down whenever something happens. I sincerely wonder if I will ever be able to just smile and have fun again without the hurt and the ache, that missing piece of me she once filled.
Self-inflicted wounds.
I blame myself for all the hurt.
So today, when I awoke from a dream about us, I have decided to dedicate the song "Don't Wake Me" to you....cuz "this is as good as it gets".
It's been a year.
And Katie...
...I miss you ♥
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