to understand that Jesus, while He was dying for us,
was LOVING us just as much as He loves us right now?
that is an AMAZING depth of love.
i really struggle with this...i realized it tonight when my family and i
went to the grocery store so my mom could order a cake for my sister's
graduation party. my ex-best friend's mom was working at the deli and
my mom was chatting with her and they were laughing and joking around
just like they used to, like nothing changed. however, i refused to make
eye contact and i wouldn't even acknowledge her. it wasn't until we were
walking out the door that God spoke to me and said "you know, i love her too."
it was a very sobering moment for me and i started to think just what would
happen if ever i came face to face with any of my old friends, the people who
hurt me so badly in the past. i realized i have no idea what i would do but that
i still feel bitter towards them and then well that made me question whether or
not i have/had actually legitimately forgiven them or not. obviously, if i haven't
this creates a real problem within me and hurts me a LOT more than i realize...
i WANT to forgive them for what happened yet we all know actually doing said
task within the heart is much more complex, it's not just a one time decision.
reminds me of a very great lyrics
i will forgive you, but it will take some time to forget.
"liar" by disciple.
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