so another friendship has ended and as i'm looking back on the last 5 years and how things have gone with my friends, i'm finding it weird that with every one of those friendships, i've been compared to other people in the lives of my ex-friends.
in one friendship (from AGES ago) i was compared to another of our friends who was unreliable simply because i was so busy with other things in my life at the time. i was in school and she was not.
in another friendship, it was me being compared to an ex-boyfriend (really? seriously?)
when i was friends with katie and things ended, i was being compared all the time to her horse instructor. why didn't i love horses like she did? why wasn't i going to her shows all the time? why didn't i go to the barn to visit her and ride her horse?
and now... with jen... i was compared to her old friends, i was compared to her parents relationship? what?!!
i don't care if your past is messing with your current life, that is something you need to be sorting out for yourself. it isn't fair to hold people up to what other people have done. like Orlando tells Helen in Diary of a Mad Black Woman, "don't make me pay for his mistakes." it's the SAME THING!!!!!!!
is it my fault that this keeps happening to me? is it the kind of friends i'm choosing? is it just a human flaw?
i'm very confused with this and i'm getting very tired for apologizing for other people's mistakes. i shouldn't be taking the blame for them or how they've changed/shaped my "friends" so from now on i'm not going to.
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