"i throw up my hands, oh the impossibilities, frustrated and tired, where do i go from here?"

"i throw up my hands, oh the impossibilities, frustrated and tired, where do i go from here?"

this is a lyric by the band relient k and i think it was written just for me right now.

i don't know what to do or where to go with my life right now.

i know what God has spoken in the past.

i know what is happening right now with people.

but i am hurting.

the people i once trusted to be loyal friends have turned away from me, i only have 2 people i really trust deeply anymore, both of which are 3+ hours away from me at this point in time.

i am VERY confused by the one who said she wasn't going to be like my old friends when they left me, and then she did. now she's saying she never left? that isn't true because she isn't here for me and hasn't been for months now, i was just too blind to see it until it was too late and now? now i am hurt.

i'm sick of the deep wounds. the scars that don't have time to heal.

i'm really getting sick of friends and trusting people.

dear God, i am hurting. and guess what? my heart is shattered again.