Friday, June 18, 2010

wrung dry.

just when i think i don't have any tears left in me, i start crying again.
over whatever, anything.

a hurtful comment from my parents, a situation that shouldn't bother me but does.
them talking about everything they're going to get my sister for when she moves to minnesota...how they're going to pay for her car, her rent, her apartment stuff... how they just hand her $50 but get angry at me when i ask them to buy me shampoo cuz i need it and i'm trying to save money for school.

when i try very very hard to be available for the friends i have left yet they don't want to hang out or have anything to do with me, and then we fight because i miss them and want to work things out but it never ends up happening. it's only getting worse.

i want out. i just want out.

of this life.
of everything.

i've lost sight of the light, of joy, i'm not sure i believe in real happiness anymore.

i'm wrung completely dry.
not seeking anything for myself anymore, just doing my best to get by.

1 comment:

Miki said...

Oh, honey...it can't go on forever. God has you in this situation for a reason. He isn't giving up on you, don't give up on Him. Hold on, Liz. It's going to change soon enough. You're going to go to school and make amazing friends and none of this will matter anymore. And then you're going to move to Texas. If I have to help you in some way, send you money or something, I will. I love you.