i've taken a hiatus from real life (most people call them 'vacations' ) and i guess i'm trying to rediscover my purpose and passion for living.
let me clarify.
i've believed for over a year now that i'm supposed to go to Living Light School of Worship...however... things haven't exactly worked out for me.
so i felt super defeated.
and yes, i know that everything is in God's control and He has the perfect timing.
i just suck at waiting.
and having faith. and trust.
you see, i have a very hard time truly believing i will ever be happy, so when an opportunity presents itself that i might be happy, i become rather cynical. i don't like that quality about myself since i'm always advocating hope, but that's how i am and no ten step program's gonna change it, only spending time with my Father can. sooo yeah.
anyway, i'm waiting for alyssa to get done with work (she gets done at 3 ish) and well let's see... i went to bed about 1:30 a.m. (early for me) but didn't/couldn't fall asleep until after 3, then this morning when alyssa's alarm went off at 6, i woke up (not sure if the alarm woke me up or if i was already awake though), then dozed off a bit til she left then i got up and her mom came in to leave a towel for me in case i wanted to shower while she was gone and i scared her cuz she wasn't expecting me to be awake haha. that was a little before 8. funny thing is, i don't feel tired... dear body i wish you made more sense cuz what am i going to do all day now?? xD
okay okay i'm done babbling for now. peace homies.
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