"I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?"
"I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand."
-psalm 73
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
losing expectations & changes.
please note, i have a new blog and currently post there more frequently than here. web address is www.bandmonkey08.wordpress.com i may copy some posts here, but for the most part that is where i will be posting. thanks for all those who read along, if there are even any of you left.
change is a good title to my blog post today.
i chopped my hair off. like...REALLY off. it's extremely short, not like buzz cut but it's definitely shorter that i have ever gone before.
but that is exactly what i wanted. i contemplated going even shorter than this. didn't do it thought. everyone keeps asking for pictures but i don't currently have any sorry. i mean i took a few but i don't think any turned out really, plus it's almost 11 and plus my hair is really curly since i showered. i hate that it does that. why can't it just lay flat or be in ringlets? why this messed-up, i'll-do-what-i-want-to business? anyway, i digress.
changes! yes. oh and lowering of expectations, which is included in the changes.
you might ask what expectations i'm lowering and i will tell you.
when i first moved here i was excited to meet new people, excited to have new friends to hang out with and enjoy life with.
i was excited to stop being such a flippin introvert.
these ideals have proved to be completely inaccurate of how things really are here.
i have only 3 people that i've hung out with, 2 of them being friends that i had before i moved here and the other one? oh in a few weeks she moves back home to Canada, i'll probably never see her again. strike one.
this all just really makes me curious...what makes me such an outcast? do i give off a weird vibe to people? am i awkward? is there something i'm supposed to DO that i've not DONE? i don't know. but today i made some changes to me. my hair is gone, and i bought a sketch book.
give me some utensils, my sketchbook and my notebook, a warm slightly breezy day by the lake filled with sunshine and my ipod, and i am perfectly content.
lonely perhaps, but it's what i'm going to have to get used to. i've determined you see, to get better at writing and get better at art since i suck at both. considering i don't hang out with anyone or really know anyone and i don't work THAT much, i do believe i will have tons of plenty of time to do this.
here's to becoming better at being alone. huzzah.
change is a good title to my blog post today.
i chopped my hair off. like...REALLY off. it's extremely short, not like buzz cut but it's definitely shorter that i have ever gone before.
but that is exactly what i wanted. i contemplated going even shorter than this. didn't do it thought. everyone keeps asking for pictures but i don't currently have any sorry. i mean i took a few but i don't think any turned out really, plus it's almost 11 and plus my hair is really curly since i showered. i hate that it does that. why can't it just lay flat or be in ringlets? why this messed-up, i'll-do-what-i-want-to business? anyway, i digress.
changes! yes. oh and lowering of expectations, which is included in the changes.
you might ask what expectations i'm lowering and i will tell you.
when i first moved here i was excited to meet new people, excited to have new friends to hang out with and enjoy life with.
i was excited to stop being such a flippin introvert.
these ideals have proved to be completely inaccurate of how things really are here.
i have only 3 people that i've hung out with, 2 of them being friends that i had before i moved here and the other one? oh in a few weeks she moves back home to Canada, i'll probably never see her again. strike one.
this all just really makes me curious...what makes me such an outcast? do i give off a weird vibe to people? am i awkward? is there something i'm supposed to DO that i've not DONE? i don't know. but today i made some changes to me. my hair is gone, and i bought a sketch book.
give me some utensils, my sketchbook and my notebook, a warm slightly breezy day by the lake filled with sunshine and my ipod, and i am perfectly content.
lonely perhaps, but it's what i'm going to have to get used to. i've determined you see, to get better at writing and get better at art since i suck at both. considering i don't hang out with anyone or really know anyone and i don't work THAT much, i do believe i will have tons of plenty of time to do this.
here's to becoming better at being alone. huzzah.
Monday, May 2, 2011
a new blog and some changes.
dear friends who read my blog, i have created a new blog at
www.bandmonkey08.wordpress.com
possibly i'll still update this one, maybe i'll be able to link it but no promises.
i really love the layout and theme of wordpress, so yeah.
that is all :)
hope you still follow along! :) :) :)
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