december first two thousand and ten.
my fifth disciple concert...and so many other things.
the only word to even begin to describe the whole day is beautiful,
it was so many things and ALL of those things were beautiful.
the day began with sleeping in for me...and for anyone who doesn't know, i am NOT a morning
person but almost always work opening shifts at work (sometimes open then switch jobs and
close...which leads to very long days for me sometimes). well, i slept til 11 am and was TOTALLY
raring to go when i woke up... i grabbed my ipod, cranked up Disciple and started getting ready
for a rock show! i knew i wouldn't be able to pick my sister up from school until 2pm so i had some
time, but there was still so much to do!! i had to get my car ready (we were packing 5 people into
my little corsica! haha) and i had to get kevin's gift ready, james's gift ready and also pack my
concert bag that i always use (yay for sling bags!) once i had my stuff ready, i did my makeup,
straightened my hair (gotta have headbanging hair!) and walked into the living room just in
time to see Jared open the door and Jen walking through it saying something along the lines of
"brr its cold today!" but i didn't really hear her because i had tackled her with squeals of "it's
today it's today!!" she laughed and said "come on let's get going!" so we piled into my car and
headed to the bank because both jen and i had been saving our change for quite awhile in order
to give james some gas money since he'd come so far...i know my change jar had been growing for about 5 months :) those things are always fun! after we were done there, we picked up my
sister and her friend from school early (yeah yeah i know, not exactly legal lol!) and set off
for OCONOMOWOC!!!!!!!!! (with a side stop at dunkin doughnuts on the way haha).
the road trip was filled with music and words and OF COURSE laughter.
with that many people in my care, it was a major surprise to me that i didn't freak out or get really nervous driving...that usually happens to me when i'm driving to an unknown place or with that many people in my car. thank you disciple for calming my driving nerves though :) we played all the way from old school to kittens on a cloud...my sister's friend Autumn had NO IDEA what kittens on a cloud was when jen and i referenced it and neither did my sister surprisingly :P they needed to be educated ;-)
as the miles grew shorter, and the chatter quieted down, we let the music consume us...at least i know i did. that is definitely one thing i love about driving long distances, it's easy to let the music take you away and then it doesn't seem so long of a journey.
alright so finally we're in Oconomowoc and i'm starting to freak out... oh my gosh we're seeing
Disciple...oh my gosh what if something goes wrong...what if we're late...what if james and heidi are already here and annoyed we aren't? what if the guys remember me from last time and act differently around me because of the blog i had written? ..my fears were trying to take over the beauty of the day, but just like clockwork, God intervened with "dear x" on my ipod... and i was at peace...well, until we realized we were lost and had no idea where we were going... ha!
we stopped at a kwik trip and had a potty break while jared asked for directions (i'm thankful he's so practical :P )
not too long thereafter, we arrived at the church where the concert was being held. i turned my car off, opened the door and closed it again, it was absolutely FRIGID!! however, i never wear a sweatshirt into concerts so being stubborn and resolute i climbed out of the car in my tshirt as the snowflakes swirled around me and ventured to the door of the venue where i saw heidi and james waiting and i no longer worried or cared about anything. seeing heidi was a reminder that i was among people who cared about me, loved me even, and i had nothing to worry about, no reason to fear :)
God's awesome at doing things like that.
well, the doors didn't open for another hour and a half so we just kind of stood around shivering waiting and waiting. dear james, it was not my fault you took your sweatshirt off!! haha!! even though jen glared at me like a bajillion times, i still laugh looking back on that moment lol. "i can't be outdone by a girl!" ohh james :)
after about 20-30 minutes my sister, her friend and jared said " that's it we're out of here" and took my car keys to go sit in my car and be warm...jen, james, heidi and i all waited in the cold instead...and finally! we were able to go inside :) basically, we made a beeline for the merch table because well a) i REALLY wanted to see amanda again, she's one of the sweetest & kindest people i have ever met in my life and i greatly enjoy being around her :) and b) we were hoping at least one of the guys would be around so we could give them their stuff...
well, amanda was there alright but none of the guys were in sight until i noticed kevin talking with someone by the compassion table...and i saw my opportunity to say hi. i could tell he was in a hurry but i just wanted to say hi, so as he was walking past (definitely preoccupied) i lightly touched his shoulder and said hey. he replied with a distracted "hi." then looked up, saw me and did a doubletake, and in that instant my heart ached because i knew he remembered me and it was one of the greatest feelings ever. what happened next i did not expect...i could tell he was in a hurry but he reached and grabbed me into a VERY tight gripping hug that brought tears to my eyes. "i gotta run to a prayer meeting" he said, "but i am SO glad you're here!!"
he smiled again, and took off, leaving me speechless and unsure of how i was feeling. jen just looked at me and smiled and i had to brush away a tear that had rolled down my cheek... who was this girl? i thought to myself. i NEVER cry in public and here i am, in front of one of my HEROES just crying! but i pushed the thought out of my mind, turned around and gave amanda a giant hug because i was really truly glad to see her!!
we hung around the table for what seemed like ages just talking to her and checking the new stuff out, admiring the 'dear x' shirt that they'd just recently created and their new photo which included trent yaaay! :P next thing i knew, i looked up and there was andrew, approaching the table, so i smiled and said "hey!" and he shook hands with someone, and next thing i know we're all hugging...gosh i love those people!! and then, not only did he chat for a bit, he hung around with us for like half an hour just chatting and being social... it was definitely a blessing that he did not have to choose to give us :) but then head started playing, he had to run and he agreed to take the energy drinks etc with him... and so we headed into the concert!
Brian Head Welch was first up and his music style has never been something i've been into but i had heard his story and knew what happened in his life and i DEFINITELY wanted to see him, so jen, james and i (who had lost track of jared, my sister and her friend) pushed to the front and took a few photos. unfortunately, i didn't really know his music but it was still an enjoyable set. he is very animated and seeing him raise his hands in worship definitely had me praising God :)
next up was silverline which i took like no pics of, mostly because i had never heard of them and wasn't too interested.. i was there for disciple and i definitely had my mind set on it haha.
so...in between sets...we took pictures! haha poor people around us! my flash is mildy blinding...
then, one of my very favorite scenes appeared and i knew it was time.
ready to rock.
ready for God to reach into my soul with the words and the melodies and the people playing & speaking them.
i was vulnerable and okay with it.
nothing more beautiful.
as they prayed for who knows what (probably the show, for people to be lifted to God) i prayed for them, for the lives God wanted to touch through them, and then they broke apart and began to bring the rock.
apologies here to whoever wants the setlist from the show...
i've gotten it to this but this may not be correct...i swear it's close though!
game on
rise up
321
watch it burn
worth the pain
after the world
dear x (you don't own me)
the ballad of st augustine
scars remain
i at least know they played all those songs :P haha
i rocked SO hard during that set... my body was thrown every which way and i think i headbanged more than i EVER have.... the gym floor was SLIPPERY so jumping was tough but i definitely did my best :P it's a good thing i was right against the bar because i got dizzy more than once... i didn't care though, i was exactly where i love being.
as kevin spoke before after the world, the tears just welled up inside of me because i knew what he was speaking was SO TRUE and it reminded me of the previous time i'd seen them and he had spoken such similar things to me, it was different yet i know it was God speaking to me, reminding me of who i was because of who He had made me... and i was so overwhelmed so as the opening chords of 'after the world' began, i was just basically a mess. as the tears fell down, i just shut my eyes tight and listened to the words i knew by heart, but it was different this time... this time it was God singing to me, and He gave me visual images of things from my life, examples of when He was there when i didn't think He was... proof of how much He really loves me.
(random girly side note, at this point of the show i KNEW buying waterproof eyeliner had been a wise decision!!!!!!!!!!!)
so, being a total, beautiful mess as they finished that song, i opened my eyes grinning just KNOWING the victory God had won in my life.
and i sang along with 'dear x' at the top of my lungs, just screaming for the things that didn't own me anymore.
and it was beautiful.
after Disciple finished, jen and i noticed james had vanished (he'd drifted away from us in the pit) and so we went to go find him (plus i totally needed water and air haha)
then we chilled some more, listened to speakers and the compassion talk and then red performed and we had moved toward the back of the gym at this point, by the doors of the gym and at one point jen goes whats that? and we looked up and trent was shining a flashlight at us and he waved, we waved back and kept rocking out to red. ps, heidi is the cutest headbanger i know:
a few more concert shots:
once the show was finished, we hung out in the hallway and the guys came out to sign and so we waited for people to go through the line then we walked up and got smiles and hugs all around...
took a few pics that make me laugh now:
i handed james my camera and forgot i did it... this is how it went down:
james: im a lil narcassistic...give me a camera and thats what happens"
kevin: with a beard like that i dont blame ya...id do the same!"
so then jen and i made sure we got a pic with trent ONLY and he got a kick out of that, made sure to call special attention to it and everything :P
then i turned and kevin was holding the pictured i'd purchased to get signed and waving it around asking whose it was and i was like "that's mine sorry" and took it and he smiled and gave me yet another amazing hug. "how ARE you??" he wanted to know, and i just said "amazing. i have never been more amazing in my life." (later on i got an opportunity to thank him for praying over me the last time and the healing that occurred but that wasn't of major importance so this is as much as i'll include it here). well anyways, he smiled, and i was nervous, but took a deep breath and told him about the monsters we brought, the bag full of goodies and his box that andrew had taken back. he hadn't seen it yet and therefore did not know what was inside or anything so, even though i had nerves going and my stomach was all in knots, i launched into my explanation of what was inside.
you see, i had purchased a gift card for Build-a-Bear Workshop for him, with enough on it that he could take his wife and daughter and let them pick anything they wanted, any animal, and make it for their very own. not only that, but i made sure to tell him about the recordable sounds that they have... i told him that he can record his voice so that when he is gone on tour, Avery and Julie will still be able to hear him... at this point, i had been looking downish because making eye contact was too hard, i was getting teary just talking about it...and i looked up at him and his eyes were filled with tears and i could tell he was trying very hard not to cry and i knew i could NOT have him doing that or i'd be a basket case...so i said "don't you cry! if you start i won't be able to stop!" so instead, he grabbed me into yet another hug and the tears i had been holding back just fell and i didn't even care... and as he let go, i was basically at a whisper saying, "giving you a chance at a beautiful memory seemed like the least i could do, the only way i could think of to even begin saying thank you to you." and he said "well thank you. i am going to take Avery for Christmas, i'd like to do the voice thing very much" and i grinned and just kind of stood there as everyone else finished talking to people and such. after a little bit, we got set up for a couple photos
this photo is where the title from my blog comes, it's a quote from heidi when talking to her about the show, a couple days later. she made it her profile picture on facebook and when i asked her why out of all of them she chose that one and she said "i love that photo because it's like we're a family" and truly, that is what it is, it's how it is.
and just for andrew, the awkward video that derrick made thinking he was taking a picture...
apparently andrew really likes watching these haha. he said he'd get mad at jen if she DIDN'T post it on youtube :P
and then the band members all had to go tear down and get packed up and ready to fly to germany the next day.
what did we do? we headed over to the merch table to help amanda tear down and pack up :) with willing hearts we did whatever needed to be done...folding cloths, carrying bags, serving was a beautiful thing and there was a smile plastered to my face the whole time :)
(okay i lied i'm writing more about talking to kevin again haha)
after getting those things loaded up and ready to go out on the dolly, i turned around to find heidi and see what she was up to and i saw kevin working on stuff at the compassion table so i went over and with a pounding heart i began to speak about what had happened last time and how God used him, how He healed me from Kevin's prayer. i explained how i had cried the whole 4 hour drive home from Rhinelander last time but it was different than any tears before, i thanked him many times over for praying over me and the kindnesses they always show. i could see the exhaustion in his eyes and on his face but as i asked for one last hug before we left, he dropped what he was doing and said "absolutely" and then i asked him if he minded one more picture and as he hugged me, he just smiled and said, "let's do it" so i went to take a self-portrait style picture but jen rushed over and knowing me too well i guess said "i got it, here give me your camera" and so she took one
like an idiot, i was too concentrated on everything that wasn't the picture, and i forgot to smile so she looked at me, "LIZ SMILE ALREADY!" which made kevin and i laugh so the second attempt was much better
however, i may point out that even though i look like a doof in this photo, it's my favorite because kevin is truly smiling, not just posing, and that is how he smiles when he sees me and whenever the lies try to creep in that i am no one special, that i don't matter and that i'm not important to anyone, i see this image in my mind, i see every single time i've talked to anyone from the band, and i refute those lies because these people have shown me the love of Jesus every single time i've seen them, because whenever i'm around them, i don't feel insignificant, because it's like a family... and i am PROUD to call these people my brothers and sisters in Christ.
this is the end of my blog and i know it's not a typical concert blog for me,
nothing way out of the ordinary happened because i have come to expect
the extraordinary. after all, in the words of John Bevere, for followers of Christ,
extraordinary shouldn't be unexpected :)
